Monday evening, before leaving work, I spoke with my employees about our winter weather plans. You know the boring stuff: who lives the closest, who will cover for who in the event that they are snowed in, what they needed to work on if they were the ones that work, etc. I went home knowing that I would have to be awake at 5:30 a.m. to check weather updates and send text messages as needed to get my store covered. This coupled with the love I have for spending time with my husband, meant that I of course didn't go to bed until after midnight, so when my alarm clock went off I really didn't want to get up. Despite this, I forced myself to get out of bed, walk the 15 feet to the office, and start sending text messages. As I waited on my employees to reply I decided to power on the computer and check the weather myself.
[A little background information is needed here. I deleted the Facebook app from my phone about a month ago because I was getting too wrapped up in other people's lives, and losing the joy in my own.]
While waiting for the Weather Channel's page to fully load I decided to login to Facebook and see what all was going on in the world of my friends and family. The first thing that appeared on my screen was an awesome head-shot of my friend JM. It was a stunning black and white photograph that captured just the slightest touch of a smile. That moment just before he would smile that huge smile of his. I then read the words that his beautiful wife S had written above the photo.
I read it through once, and went to read it again because I had to have missed something because it sounded like my friend had passed away. That couldn't be true, could it? He was younger than me. I had just seen him at my little sister's wedding. Wait that was in August. But we had plans to get the old college group together. At the wedding we all had laughed about all the great fun we used to have in Jacksonville.
He couldn't be gone. He just couldn't be.
I probably read that post no less than 50 times knowing that I must have miss read something maybe there was a punch line I missed. You know something that said he's gone, because he's in another state, or they'd split up; anything. With tears streaming down my face I began searching his, his wife's, and last his mom's Facebook page for any scrap of detail that could clear up this unthinkable post. I found it on his mom's page. It was a plea for prayer warriors to pray for JM because he had had a seizure, passed out, and was taken to UAB hospital Saturday night. She had posted it on Sunday morning and I didn't even see it because I was taking a break from Facebook.
I sat in our office weeping as the reality of the situation overtook me. JM was gone. Just like that. No drawn out illness that gave you the opportunity to say goodbye. Nothing. He was with Jesus now and I wouldn't see him again this side of Heaven.
With the next wave of weeping I prayed for his wife and mother. The pieces of my heart broke even more with the thought of how this would change the life of these two women.
JM was such an unforgettable person. To know him was to know joy. He brought so much laughter to the people that he met. He had depth as well. I think that's why we got along so well. We both could go from acting like 4 year olds to having a deep sage-like discussion on God and life in the span of 10 minutes.
I thank God for bringing him into my life when He did and for all the years we got to spend with him. JM entered my life at a strange and exciting time in my life. I had spent some three years being lost in life and being very angry with God. I moved to Jacksonville because my dad went to school there, and because I had a vision that I would find God there and I did. I also found a girl named SK that would liven up my life and keep me young for years. JM was one of her best friends growing up and he came to visit her at JSU. When he arrived she was in class, so I was to meet JM at the BCM and keep him company until she got out of class. He walked in, I introduced myself, and by the time SK got out of class we were well on our way to being the best of friends.
At that time JM wanted to be an actor. Correction a famous actor. He truly embodied Shakespeare's quote, "All the world is a stage." Everywhere the three of us went was an adventure. A walk through the mall meant using horrible British accents, which later we perfected. [I find myself still using other's accents when talking to them. Don't believe me just ask my husband or my sister, Valerie. Valerie hated going to get Chinese food with me because if the waiter was using broken English, I would respond to them in broken English. I don't even know that I'm doing it, that's what stinks.] A traffic jam for us was a time to roll down the windows and rock out to some Bon Jovi. We had fun filled weekends in Kimberly, AL. I got a chance to meet some of their families.
Years would pass and friends where added to our crazy group and some would split off. That's life for you. But there came a time when my circle of friends followed hard after God and it was a life changing time for all of us. I can't thank God enough that He allowed our little group to mature together. During this time my inner circle was getting smaller and smaller; it included myself, my sister Valerie, JM, and MD. Being at least 6 years their senior it was interesting to watch them, fresh out of high school, morph into adults before my eyes. During this time we spent many nights singing random songs, watching movies, playing games, but mostly it was conversations on life and God and eating great food. We were such foodies! And really is there anything better than preparing a great meal while in the background there's loud and joyous laughter from your closest friends. These are the people that know the real you, not the semi-fake-you that you present to the outside world. The person you present to the world is that adult that appears to have it all together. Within my inner circle we allowed ourselves to be real with each other. Sometimes that presented itself in the form of anger, tears, fears, but mostly it was copious amounts of laughter. Holding on to each other through the pain of losing grandparents around the same time. Especially that dumb night we all watched The Family Stone, right after losing our grandmothers. Not our brightest idea ever, but with God at the center we helped each other get through it all. We weren't afraid to show our scars and downfalls with each other. It was a come as you are type of environment, and I loved every minute of it. This group saw me come of age as well. Still to this day I haven't found anything close to what we had. This is not to say that we didn't have others in our lives that were shaping and molding us. We all had great friends that entered our little hang out group off and on, but the four of us had something special that I can't seem to replicate with others. Probably because others we add can't really understand those dark times of growth that we went through with each other. One of the saddest days was when I moved out of Jacksonville.
A couple of years later JM and SM would get married and move to the Birmingham area. Then I married Matt and we eventually moved to Tennessee. MD moved to Weaver, became a missionary and moved to Argentina. Valerie stayed in Jacksonville for a few more years before moving to Gadsden. And though we had Facebook to keep us current on what was going on in each other's lives it was a rare occurrence that we were all able to sit down under one roof and just commune with one another and God.
Then last August God brought us all together for Valerie's wedding. I cannot fully express in words how amazing that day was for me. Even though many years had gone by we picked right back up where we left off. We had all arrived as the adults we had become and yet together once again we became those younger people that had become friends so many years before. We danced. We laughed. We shared a great [albeit catered] meal together, and celebrated Valerie's marriage until late into the night. I was sad to see that day end, but we parted ways once more promising to plan out another get together soon when we could spend longer together. None of us knowing that this day would be the last day that the four of us would be together this side of Heaven.
A part of me has passed on to be with God. I take comfort in knowing that one day we will meet again, because we are Christians and we will meet again in Heaven. The loss of JM will be hard on everyone that knew him whether for a day or for years; he was just that kind of person. One impersonation, one joke, or one accent and you were hooked. So if you knew him I would ask you to pray for SM. She will need God's love and comfort during her healing process. As his wife she has known a man that none of us has. The bond between husband and wife is like no other. They get to know things about each other that no one else gets too. My heart breaks for her, and I send my love to her. God I pray that you would place the people in her life that will bring her the comfort You have for her. Be her strength and carry her through this. I pray for his mother and the rest of his family as they find their way forward in a world without him. And I pray for all of JM's many friends, may we find solace in You, Father. May his friends that don't know You find You during this healing process. I love You, Father. Lead us, guide us, and hear our prayers for help and comfort.
~Stella
Ps. Thank you God for letting us enjoy JM for the years that we had him with us. He was a great example of Your love and sense of humor!
At that time JM wanted to be an actor. Correction a famous actor. He truly embodied Shakespeare's quote, "All the world is a stage." Everywhere the three of us went was an adventure. A walk through the mall meant using horrible British accents, which later we perfected. [I find myself still using other's accents when talking to them. Don't believe me just ask my husband or my sister, Valerie. Valerie hated going to get Chinese food with me because if the waiter was using broken English, I would respond to them in broken English. I don't even know that I'm doing it, that's what stinks.] A traffic jam for us was a time to roll down the windows and rock out to some Bon Jovi. We had fun filled weekends in Kimberly, AL. I got a chance to meet some of their families.
Years would pass and friends where added to our crazy group and some would split off. That's life for you. But there came a time when my circle of friends followed hard after God and it was a life changing time for all of us. I can't thank God enough that He allowed our little group to mature together. During this time my inner circle was getting smaller and smaller; it included myself, my sister Valerie, JM, and MD. Being at least 6 years their senior it was interesting to watch them, fresh out of high school, morph into adults before my eyes. During this time we spent many nights singing random songs, watching movies, playing games, but mostly it was conversations on life and God and eating great food. We were such foodies! And really is there anything better than preparing a great meal while in the background there's loud and joyous laughter from your closest friends. These are the people that know the real you, not the semi-fake-you that you present to the outside world. The person you present to the world is that adult that appears to have it all together. Within my inner circle we allowed ourselves to be real with each other. Sometimes that presented itself in the form of anger, tears, fears, but mostly it was copious amounts of laughter. Holding on to each other through the pain of losing grandparents around the same time. Especially that dumb night we all watched The Family Stone, right after losing our grandmothers. Not our brightest idea ever, but with God at the center we helped each other get through it all. We weren't afraid to show our scars and downfalls with each other. It was a come as you are type of environment, and I loved every minute of it. This group saw me come of age as well. Still to this day I haven't found anything close to what we had. This is not to say that we didn't have others in our lives that were shaping and molding us. We all had great friends that entered our little hang out group off and on, but the four of us had something special that I can't seem to replicate with others. Probably because others we add can't really understand those dark times of growth that we went through with each other. One of the saddest days was when I moved out of Jacksonville.
A couple of years later JM and SM would get married and move to the Birmingham area. Then I married Matt and we eventually moved to Tennessee. MD moved to Weaver, became a missionary and moved to Argentina. Valerie stayed in Jacksonville for a few more years before moving to Gadsden. And though we had Facebook to keep us current on what was going on in each other's lives it was a rare occurrence that we were all able to sit down under one roof and just commune with one another and God.
Then last August God brought us all together for Valerie's wedding. I cannot fully express in words how amazing that day was for me. Even though many years had gone by we picked right back up where we left off. We had all arrived as the adults we had become and yet together once again we became those younger people that had become friends so many years before. We danced. We laughed. We shared a great [albeit catered] meal together, and celebrated Valerie's marriage until late into the night. I was sad to see that day end, but we parted ways once more promising to plan out another get together soon when we could spend longer together. None of us knowing that this day would be the last day that the four of us would be together this side of Heaven.
A part of me has passed on to be with God. I take comfort in knowing that one day we will meet again, because we are Christians and we will meet again in Heaven. The loss of JM will be hard on everyone that knew him whether for a day or for years; he was just that kind of person. One impersonation, one joke, or one accent and you were hooked. So if you knew him I would ask you to pray for SM. She will need God's love and comfort during her healing process. As his wife she has known a man that none of us has. The bond between husband and wife is like no other. They get to know things about each other that no one else gets too. My heart breaks for her, and I send my love to her. God I pray that you would place the people in her life that will bring her the comfort You have for her. Be her strength and carry her through this. I pray for his mother and the rest of his family as they find their way forward in a world without him. And I pray for all of JM's many friends, may we find solace in You, Father. May his friends that don't know You find You during this healing process. I love You, Father. Lead us, guide us, and hear our prayers for help and comfort.
~Stella
Ps. Thank you God for letting us enjoy JM for the years that we had him with us. He was a great example of Your love and sense of humor!
